[re-emerge]
I'm emerging after a couple months in the cave that is grad school. Last Wednesday night was my last class, and I sure felt good going home afterwards. I feel like I've really given about everything I have to give this fall. I studied hard and did as well as I could have on just about everything, while at the same time attempting to maintain some sanity/balance with my family and work.
Our last class on Wednesday night was really meaningful. We did an advent liturgy to start class, and then the professor opened it up to hear what people thought of the semester in his class. It turned into a space where people were sharing some very personal things about where they were at and some of the things that were impacting them. I was surprised to find myself standing up and talking about some of the things I was thinking. I hadn't spoken up in class all semester until that moment. I shared about how our final paper for the class (which we had just turned in) had taken a lot out of me. I was feeling pretty exhausted, but more than that, I was feeling more hopeful in regards to faith than I've felt in a long time. The paper was on the Incarnation and the theological and therapeutical implications of it. As I was reading it over one final time before I turned it in, I realized that what I was writing about was really a big deal, and that if I truly believed it my life would have to be profoundly impacted by it. There wasn't anything earth-shattering in my paper; it was more a matter of re-visiting some things that I haven't considered closely in a long (never?) time. I'd like to say more... But I won't here.
So now I'm resting--or trying to. I'm finding it hard to slow down after feeling like I had to constantly keep going for the past three and a half months. I'm finding myself wanting to make lists so I can cross things off--trying to feel productive. Our culture has sure done a good job of making people feel guilty about resting--myself included. As an act of defiance to that cultural norm, I'm planning on sleeping in tomorrow.
peace,
zach
ps-a couple pics for your viewing delight...
Our last class on Wednesday night was really meaningful. We did an advent liturgy to start class, and then the professor opened it up to hear what people thought of the semester in his class. It turned into a space where people were sharing some very personal things about where they were at and some of the things that were impacting them. I was surprised to find myself standing up and talking about some of the things I was thinking. I hadn't spoken up in class all semester until that moment. I shared about how our final paper for the class (which we had just turned in) had taken a lot out of me. I was feeling pretty exhausted, but more than that, I was feeling more hopeful in regards to faith than I've felt in a long time. The paper was on the Incarnation and the theological and therapeutical implications of it. As I was reading it over one final time before I turned it in, I realized that what I was writing about was really a big deal, and that if I truly believed it my life would have to be profoundly impacted by it. There wasn't anything earth-shattering in my paper; it was more a matter of re-visiting some things that I haven't considered closely in a long (never?) time. I'd like to say more... But I won't here.
So now I'm resting--or trying to. I'm finding it hard to slow down after feeling like I had to constantly keep going for the past three and a half months. I'm finding myself wanting to make lists so I can cross things off--trying to feel productive. Our culture has sure done a good job of making people feel guilty about resting--myself included. As an act of defiance to that cultural norm, I'm planning on sleeping in tomorrow.
peace,
zach
ps-a couple pics for your viewing delight...
posted by Zachary Rupp at 8:39 PM
2 Comments:
i can't believe we're not in maryland at the same time. i feel privileged to be pretty much family to you...i mean it. and i'm proud of you. i'd like to hang out when you get back and i'd like to hear more about grad school. also you need to meet tallulah. happy christmas.
Yay....It feels so great to be done for the semester doesn't it? I had a rough one too. I feel ansy now that I have nothing that I HAVE to do by any sort of deadline. Crazy how that works. I pray you find true rest this break and gain refreshment for the next round of classes! I am proud of what you are doing! What an awesome opportunity. Merry Christmas
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