questions and answers

This seems like a funny time to re-start this blog. I'm feeling about as tired and drained as I have in as long as I can remember... But I'm realizing how much I need this outlet, especially in the midst of so much busy-ness.

The program I work with (DTS) started up again today. To start things off we (those of us on staff) give a brief introduction to the students. I like doing it, because it really forces me to evaluate where I'm at, and put into words some of the things that I'm working through. This year I'm giving our staff a little more direction with the intro than I usually do. I'm wanting them to answer two questions. And they seem kind of obvious, but nonetheless very important.

#1. Where am I? -or- What things/baggage/issues am I bringing with me into this time? For me I feel like I'm coming into this fall with a bit of confusion. Things seemed easier when I saw things as black and white. Now everything is a bit fuzzy, and that makes for a lot more work. It also makes things more interesting. And I'm tired. I'm not feeling as energized as I usually am this time of the year. Lots of different reasons for that...

#2. What do I want? I know that I have a strong desire to connect deeply with a few people. I want to take advantage of these next few months--so that in 6 months I don't look back with a long list of regrets. That seems to be the pattern that I've gotten myself into over the last few years. High expectations, but little follow through. Not just with my work, but with life and general. I'm good at coming up with ideas and plans--even good at starting things. But it's the follow-through that needs a lot of work. So this fall I want to not give up when things get hard, to persevere.